“Learn How Human Psychology and Behavior Can Affect Your Relationship:
Avoid These 12 Behaviors at All Costs.”
Introduction
It is not a secret that relationships call for work. But sometimes, we can unknowingly sabotage our relationships—or the relationships of those around us. Check out the list below to see if you or anyone you know might be guilty of any of these 12 behaviors that destroy relationships.
1. Being defensive
2. Withholding compliments
3. Criticizing
4. Name-calling
5. Refusing to apologize
6. Playing the victim
7. Making assumptions
8. Blaming others
9. Holding grudges
10. Ignoring problems
11. Interrupting others
12. Complaining
Unresolved Issues
There are some unresolved issues that you just need to avoid. If you can’t seem to get past them, it will only lead to heartache down the road. You need to be honest with yourself and with your partner about what’s going on. If you’re not ready to talk about something, then it’s best to just steer clear of it altogether.
It’s also important that you don’t try to bury your head in the sand. Ignoring an issue is only going to make it worse in the long run. Deal with things head-on and you’ll be able to work through them much more easily.
Lack of Empathy
Do you ever find yourself not caring about what your partner is feeling? You’re not alone. A lack of empathy is one of the biggest killers of relationships. When we don’t bother trying to understand how our partner is feeling, we’re essentially telling them that their feelings don’t matter.
We can avoid this by making a conscious effort to be more empathetic. This means listening actively and putting ourselves in our partner’s shoes. It can be difficult to do this at first, but with practice, so it becomes easier. And the payoff is worth it—just think of all the fights you’ll avoid, and all the happiness you’ll bring to your partner’s life.
Poor Communication
When it comes to relationships, poor communication is one of the biggest killers. This can take on many forms, but the most common is simply not listening to your partner.
You may be thinking, “I’m listening, I’m just not agreeing with them.” But that’s not what your partner needs from you. They need you to hear them, digest what they’re saying, and give an honest response.
Failing to do this will only lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
Manipulation
Manipulation is a behavior that is often hard to spot, but it can be destructive to a relationship. Manipulation is when someone tries to control or influence another person through underhanded or devious methods.
Manipulation can take many forms, from subtle Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques to more overt emotional manipulation. CBT is a type of therapy that aims to change the way someone thinks to change their behavior.
While CBT can be unhelpful, it can also be used to manipulate someone by changing the way they think about themselves or their situation. For example, a manipulative person might use CBT techniques to make their partner doubt their intuition or memory.
Emotional manipulation is another form of manipulation that can be difficult to spot. This is when someone tries to control another person by playing with their emotions. For example, they might guilt trip their partner into doing something they don’t want to do or play on their fear to get them to do what they want.
Both of these types of manipulation can be extremely harmful to a relationship, as they erode trust and mutual respect. If you think you might be manipulative, it’s important to seek help from a therapist or counselor who can help you learn healthier ways of relating to others.
Withholding Affection
One of the most common complaints I hear from couples is that one partner feels emotionally neglected. In other words, they feel like their affectionate needs are not being met.
If you’re not a touchy-feely person, you can still express affection through words and deeds. That might mean cooking dinner for your partner, sending them a sweet text message during the day, or doing something special for them on their birthday.
The important thing is to be thoughtful and deliberate about how you express your affection. If you’re withholding affection as a way to punish your partner or get back at them for something they did, that’s not healthy behavior. It will only lead to resentment and bitterness, and it will ultimately destroy your relationship.
Infidelity or Dishonesty
Number six on the list of behaviors that destroy relationships is infidelity or dishonesty. When you are not faithful to your partner, or when you are dishonest with them, it creates a feeling of betrayal. This is one of the most difficult things to recover from in a relationship.
If you have been unfaithful, it is important not to be honest with your partner about what happened. This will help them to begin to trust you again. If you are not honest about your infidelity, it will be even more difficult to rebuild trust.
Dishonesty in a relationship can take many forms. It can be something as small as hiding a purchase from your partner, or it can be something much bigger, like lying about an affair. Regardless of the size of the lie, dishonesty creates mistrust and can destroy a relationship.
Controlling Behavior
One of the most destructive relationship behaviors is what’s commonly referred to as “controlling behavior.” This is when one person in the relationship tries to dictate how the other person lives their life.
It might manifest as trying to control what the other person wears, who they spend time with, what they do for fun, or what their career should be. It can also show up as being a critical canal and constantly finding fault with the other person.
In a healthy relationship, both partners should feel like they have an equal say and can freely express themselves without fear of judgment or reprisal. If you find yourself behaving in a controlling manner, it’s important to try to catch yourself and check your motivation. Are you trying to control your partner out of a place of love or a place of fear?
If it’s coming from a place of fear (e.g., you’re afraid they’ll leave if you don’t keep a tight leash on them), that’s not healthy. If, on the other hand, you’re just trying to help them live their best life possible and you’re coming from a place of love, then have an honest conversation with your partner about your concerns.
Neglecting Your Needs
One of the most important things in a relationship is making sure that your needs are being met—both physically and emotionally. And while it’s important to be there for your partner, it’s also important to make sure that you’re not neglecting your own needs in the process.
Unfortunately, this is a behavior that a lot of people are guilty of. They get so wrapped up in taking care of their partner that they forget to take care of themselves. And not only is this bad for you, but it can also be bad for the relationship.
If you’re not taking care of yourself, you’re going to be resentful. And when you’re resentful, it’s going to be harder for you to be there for your partner. So make sure that you’re making time for yourself—even if it’s just a few minutes each day.
Lashing Out in Anger
Here’s something you might not realize: when you lash out in anger, you’re behaving in entirely self-destructive ways. And not only that, but you’re also hurting the person you love.
Think about it—when you get angry, you’re usually not thinking straight. You might say or do things that you later regret, and that can damage your relationship beyond repair.
What’s more, when you unleash yourself in anger, you send a message to your partner that they can’t trust you to manage your emotions healthily and more healthily
. And that’s not something they’re going to want to stick around for.
So if you’re someone who tends to lose their temper, it’s important to find other ways to deal with your anger. Talk to a therapist or counselor about how to manage your emotions more healthily, and do whatever it takes to avoid lashing out at your partner.
Entitlement Mentality
You may not be aware of it, but if you have an entitlement mentality, you’re subconsciously expecting your partner to make you happy and cater to your every need. And when they don’t meet your expectations, you become resentful.
This is a behavior that destroys relationships because it robs you of your ability to be happy on your own and creates an unhealthy dependency on your partner. It also puts a lot of pressure on them and sets the relationship up for failure.
If you find yourself getting angry or upset when your partner doesn’t do what you want or meet your needs, it’s a sign that you have an entitlement mentality. The good news is, this is something you can change by learning to be more independent and taking responsibility for your happiness.
Overly Critical Attitude
If you’re the type of person who is always finding fault with your partner and pointing out their every little imperfection, it’s time to check yourself. No one likes to be constantly criticized, and an overly critical attitude is a surefire way to destroy your relationship.
If you find yourself being critical, try to take a step back and ask yourself why. Are you feeling insecure about something? Are you worried that your partner is going to leave you? Or are you just unhappy with the relationship in general?
Whatever the reason, it’s important to work on addressing the underlying issue instead of taking it out on your partner. If you can’t seem to shake that critical attitude, it might be time to seek help from a therapist or counselor.
Conclusion
So if you want to maintain a happy and healthy relationship, steer clear of these 12 destructive behaviors. And if you’re already guilty of any of them, don’t worry—recognizing the problem is the first step to solving it. Just start making small changes today and you’ll be on your way to a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.
